Motivation. Motivation!

As of late, I have felt so unmotivated for some reason... and I'm not sad or depressed or anything like that, at least not conscously. I am just unmotivated. I have watched countless hours of television and I have not read anything and I have not written anything or learned anything or gone on my jogs. Oh and by television, I mean completely mind numbing shows.  I wish I could say that I have been watching the news or at least the Discovery channel but nope. HBO girl right here.

Ugh, maybe this is depression? A monotone feeling. Ughhhhhh.

I feel like I am not "growing" which for me, honestly, means that I am not learning anything... I also feel disconnected from myself. Maybe it is lack of direction. Lack of plans.

The only thing (other than the wasted time in front of the tube) that I have done is gone out to eat or drink... Which is fun but I need something more than just this.

Then, I remembered...

A couple of days ago Matt and I sat at the bar and we made a list of places we want to go to in The Burg... Bare with me:

-Museum of Art ((saving this for last (you know the saying))
-Capitol tour (really looking forward to this one)
-Midtown Theater (this is a regular movie theater but it is kinda an old school one)
-Fort Hunter Mansion tour
-Rent a pontoon
-Chocolate World tour
-Bricco ((nice restaurant (yay))
-The Taj place (Matt doesn't remember the name)
-Rose's ((restaurant (super yay))
-Downtown library (HOW HAVE I NOT ATTENDED!?!?!?!)
-Railroad Museum
-Hershey's
-Indian Echoes

And now my own personal list:

-Wake up an hour and 45min before work to read (or try to read for an hour a day)
-Begin jogging again
-Follow through on the music lessons
-Word of the day

I think that if I begin by doing some of the things on these lists, I 'll start feeling like me again. Maybe these are diversions from the bigger goals in life that I ought to be setting but for now easy and steady. Maybe next week I'll start with 5 year goals... then 10 years...

Hm.

Happy.

I am one lucky gal... Sooo happy when Athena brought this in... I almost snatched it:

My Ma called wrote "Gloria" and no one, not even her, refers to me as a "Gloria"... 

Look at all the stickers!!! They make me happy! 

A happy clam I am.

Silly.

I told my tripodian friend Angelica that I was very happy because I went to Costco (the best store in the world) and two of my purchases were a pumpkin pie and the September issue of a certain magazine... and then I looked at my little couch station and I realized that it was kind of girly... and I realized that there are some things that may be considered to be very silly girly things that I like but that I do not hardly share because I do not want my intelligence to be compromised and thinking THAT is super silly so....

Girly Things that I Like (that I USED to think were silly):

-lipstick (I hardly ever wear it in public but I like)

-the September issue of Vogue (I used to read Kyle's but sending for his would leave me bankrupt)

-freshly painted fingernails and toes 

-holding hands (but don't do the one arm hug thing while I walk because you know, I'm trying to walk)

-sticking heart stickers all over everything

-getting dressed up... for anything 

-pretty heels (I really want a pair of Christian Louboutin and btw his website is amazing and btw his shoes would leave me and my grandchildren bankrupt)

-Sex and the City

-cursive

-nice purses

And that is all that I can think of that I used to hide from the public/friends/boys....

By the way my camp out on the couch:

Instruments.

Andrew is one of my friends from work and he is a cartoonist, a writer, a musician, a cool guy, among many things. Actually he was my friend from work because now he is my friend from Philly. The other day I went to see him play at one of his last shows:

 So neat! He taught himself how to play the accordion! (Oops, did not notice that big head to the right).

It is quite inspiring to see a friend pick up an instrument and have passion and fun and create this for others too. I am so excited whenever I get to experience art from people that I know because I just think that it is a really neat process and I feel lucky to know such cool humans.

I wish I could do the same thing. Maybe not create but play for now... So I think I am going to call a couple of places up tomorrow (on my day off) and see what I can learn to do. 

And in the mean time I will continue to try to support the arts by visiting friends and neat people and cheer and take pictures and drink to their art.

Piggy Back, Piggy Bank

One of the things that I have not talked about is my new job... where I am doing absolutely nada with my degree of course...but actually I really like 80% of this job. And the people? I like 100% of them.

I work at a bank. I know, there are horror stories about working at such a place but I really like it. I'm not a teller, I'm on the customer service side. So I open accounts, make people debit/visa cards (yes... it is true. We make them on the spot), and try to "assist" people with taking loans out. It's this last part that really throws me through a loop but anyway here are some of the things I have learned:

-If you set up automatic payments (gas, electricity, loans, yada yop) try to pay with the Visa card that is attached to your account not with your bank account and routing number. The payment, if paid using your routing number and bank account number, will come out of your account even if you do not have the funds and you will overdraft and pay fees and your bank may still cause this payment to bounce. If you use your card then usually the payment won't go through and if it does, you won't be charged the overdraft fee that banks charge.

-Look at your bank statement. Silly to say this but A LOT of people do not do this (I, prior to working here, never did). Sometimes banks charge for things on accident. Sometimes fraudulent transactions occur and they start at $1 or something less obvious like $1.67 and they slowly build up and by the time you notice, you have a lot of paperwork to fill out. And you're short a couple of dollars. Maybe not much but frankly I work for my money and if $100 of it goes missing/is stolen that pisses me off. I could have spent that on a much needed pair of good running shoes or I don't know, 2 copies of "The Economist".

-Make them get to know you. If you have a question call your branch. Get your own banker. Be friendly and nice to someone at the branch. Bother them, in a nice way. Bring them cookies. They will remember you. This may help you. If this is a bank that isn't giving you the customer service you want then fuck it, on to the next bank. Or keep that bank if they are a nationwide bank but take most of your funds to a smaller bank. I do this. I have accounts at a major bank and the place where I work at. The major bank has a kabillion fees. The bank where I work is small. They have less fees and it is easier to get to know the employees.

And that's it for now. I could go on but I'll do it in spurts. I feel like I may be coming off as preachy and my suggestions are pretty vague? I feel like this is so.

I have finally begun to meet people during normal hours and it is actually really nice. I have made a couple of friends. Particularly Matt. Matt and I sit across from one another and we chat and after work we club and eat and talk and hang out and we dilly dally. Now let me just be the first to say that this is a great guy and I like him a whole lot but we are not romantically involved. No, but really great person and I love hanging out with him.

Pretty good day today and here are a couple of pictures:

Dillon is on the left and Matt is on the right. We went to eat at a Sonic-type place but I forgot the name... will find out tomorrow. They were closing when we got there but it was located in Porn City. 

Porn City: I guess this is a major truck stop place and it is full of little XXX shops, and gentlemen clubs, and there are billboards advertising this everywhere, and it's awful. Athena and Jeffrey actually warned me about this place because you basically are driving along and the river looks really pretty and everything is green and all of a sudden there is an ass in your face. Well it feels like it because it is being advertised everywhere. 

Zania and I are excited to get some grub.  We actually ended up at Mickey D's.

Then we went on a stroll downtown and by the river.

Poor Matt was really tired from work today. 

Oh I forgot to tell you. The bank I work at is open 7 days a week. So I worked today and so did Matt and we got slammed and we were tired and then I make the poor guy give me a piggy back ride. The beginning of a true friendship. 

Piggy back. Piggy bank. 

Good night and see you later.

So How WAS it?

Neglecting this has been quite silly of me. Ok so how was Cali? Hm, amazing and awesome and wonderful and great and lets start with Mtm's graduation. So I flew into SF, proudly attended the graduation of one of the great loves in my life, and well danced.

So here is a snapshot of the kickoff to a very good week:

I finally met Mtm's buddies. I have heard about them for years and it was great to finally meet them and of course they were all open and nice and funny and drunks like us.

 <3 Josh and Sandy <3           ! Clifford and Anna !

On the night I arrived we went out and danced the night away. Honestly I kept on leaving and returning to the group... and the next day we met up with Tony Law and the Mtm clan and some much needed pho!

On pho: I love it. There is something about it that makes me feel happily happy and happily filled. Maybe because it reminds me of menudo or posole? I don't know. But yes, it is crucial that everyone know that pho is high on my favorite food list.

                   

 Mtm trying to shy away from the cameras. But being creepy overrides.

My Thanh, Clifford, and Josh and Being Happy.

Happiness in a snapshot.

We cheer and toast and pose and celebrate!

I met new friends that I will hopefully will run into them again... and this time remember ALL of them...

The fella on the left and I texted the next morning when we discovered that I had taken his picture and proceeded to send it to him. We do not know why this was done. But we wished one another the best and went on our merry/dehydrated ways. Also, I finally met the infamous McEnroe. 

Such a great time in SF. 

But really it was a great time with great people at a significant event.

For a significant and great person.

Wow. It is August!

It has been too long my blog! A LOT has happened so tonight I shall be back to talk about what life has been like since May....

My current job, friends, dudes, family, visiting California, the Middletown flea market, dream dinner parties that I fantasize about.... Maybe I won't get to it all tonight but I shall get to some of it...

See you later!

PA Fam Bam

I'm in the car with my Dinglehopper driving to Pismo and I am really happy. It has been such a good trip so far!

Miss these faces:

A Happy Clam I Am!

I am currently sitting at a 'Jack in the Box' waiting for my dad to meet me. I am in San Luis, Arizona and it is 86 degrees Fahrenheit outside BUT according to the Weather Channel App it only feels like 84 so that's cool (I disagree btw). I am inside and it is air conditioned and I spilled water on the counter and it's almost completely dried off!

I flew out from Harrisburg on Friday May 18, 2012 and my heart has been singing since I arrived. Side comment... Before boarding 300 people on the plane in Washington, D.C, there was a huge hold up and people were getting cray cray! They had to let us know that a feathered friend had found its way into the plane and they had to handle the situation. It is insane how people went from fuming angrily to finding humor in the situation! Hee, ok anyway, I have been able to see A LOT of my loved ones.

Let's start with Friday night. Mtm picked me up at the San Francisco airport and off we went to get a romantic dinner.

(Hm, I just tried to upload a picture but I am not quite sure how to do this on my phone... Bare with me... I may have to add them later... I miss my computer...but I hate traveling with it!)

Ok, so we went to Mel's and then I met the infamous Clifford, Anna, Sandy, and Joshie. These are big loves in Mtm's life! We hung out at Clifford's apartment then headed to the first dance floor. Apparently this place was LEGIT a couple of months ago but this is no longer the case (forgot the name). So we dashed off to 'Dash' (I'm pretty sure this is the name of the club but I'll verify with Mtm later).

Fun ensued! Lots of dancing in a group, dancing with these glow stick things, and dancing in general. And that was the night before My Thanh received her masters!!!!!!!!

Well I'll write about Saturday later... Still waiting for my dad. You know I've been here since last Friday and I still have not seen my Ma! Unnatural!

It's a Force Field!!!!

I have been really homesick. I just miss my friends. I miss my family. And I woke up just now and cannot sleep soooooooo just to reiterate....

I cannot cannot cannot wait to go to California!!! I ache to go home!

 It's time to see:

(Wait! Let me add some music)

Ok, much better! 

SOOOO excited to see:

My Thanh!

Angelica and Kyle!

Kyle and Chris!

My Little Brother!

My Parents!

My Dad!

(There's also a part of me that would like to see Guy Ky but... you know...)

Countdown: 6 more days!!!

My heart cannot wait!

Luck

I report this with a heavy heart: tomorrow will be my last day working at that non-profit organization. Not only am I California bound for a couple of days but the staff member that I was covering for is coming back on Monday.

Luckily I was offered to come back as a floater... Luckily I do have another job that will be waiting for me at a bank... Luckily I leave a whole complete bridge intact...

Luckily I will be in California and will finally unglue myself from my friends' facebook pages to see their actual faces! Luckily I get to hang out with my family! Luckily I get to attend Mtm's graduation! Luckily I get to party with my grandparents on their 55th anniversary! Luckily!!!!!

And luckily the Clippers have another two quarters to beat the Grizzlies!

Friday the 13th Getaway

Liz-e is one of those college buds that you kinda like, then you kinda love, then you really love, and then all of a sudden she is a life bud. She lives in Providence, RI with her beau Greg. We met up in NYC the weekend of April 13th.

Cute!

We went out to a place called "L'asso" and we drank beer and wine and caught up. We hadn't seen each other since 2010! We got a hotel in Queens and after the restaurant closed we did the classy thing and bought beer and went back to the hotel room. The following morning Liz-e wasn't feeling so good so Greg and I explored Central Park together.

Greg really wanted to check out Delacorte Theater which puts on "Shakespeare in the Park". 

If you want to check out a show go to the theater the day of the show at 1:00 and get free tickets or check out their website.

It was a ridiculously beautiful day!

By the time we were done exploring we met with Liz-e and explored some more... Then we ate dessert at "Bubby's" in the Tribeca area.

Bubby's had ducks in the window, a plastic cow outside, a Pacman arcade machine, photo booth, and a mean apple pie!

Cute #2!

Reunited roomies! Did I tell you? We met because we were placed in a triple dorm room in college.

We decided to call it an early night and hung out at the hotel room... I fell asleep at 10pm! Shame! The next morning we had breakfast together at which point Liz-e asked me if I had found a new breakfast joint in the Burg....I have not!!! (It is now my goal to find a substitute for Santa Barbara's Cajun Kitchen. How I miss theee!). Greg, Liz-e, and I said our goodbyes over bfast and went our ways (for now). 

And before I left NYC(super side note here: if you see an Amtrak ticket at a price you like, get it! The prices on the East Coast change so I was originally going to take the amtrak back home for $50 but by the time I decided to get the ticket which was literally the following day the ticket had gone up to...drummers...$100! It doubled! So I took the Megabus. Heart heart swoon.) geez, where was I? Oh, before I left I checked out the Hell's Kitchen Flea Market.

Cute things but not super cheap or big... I really want to check out the Brooklyn Flea Market!

Then I got home and got to hang around my teeny buddies:

Angel and Marla play outside.

I'm one lucky duck.

Easter

This Easter was quite sweet. First off, this G, finally has pocket change and I was able to treat my Harrisburgians to some eats. We went to a Chinese buffet were they had Chinese donuts and I ate like 5 of them! Side note: when explaining to Mtm how these donuts were the bestest, she told me that she had never encountered them and a. she is Chinese and b. she has been to China soooooo yeaaaa.

Then Athena made the kids lovely Easter baskets and we went to the park to hide some eggs for Angel. He didn't really like the idea of hunting the eggs so when Athena and Jeffrey weren't looking I decided to hunt HIM down. I grabbed the eggs and starting pelting him with them. We noticed that he would laugh, pick up the eggs that were thrown at him, and then carefully place them in his basket. Go figure, I freaking love this kid. We had fun, went home, and that was Easter. Bliss.

Angel awaits the next bruise, ahem, egg against this firing wall.

Neighborhood Scouting

I have been trying to go running everyday. And sometimes I come across weird things in the neighborhood. I really want to take pictures of these things I find BUT I fear that the dwellers and owners are going to think that I am scouting their houses and are going to beat me up.

Some of the visual highlights of my running:

-house with the gnomes 

-house with the fake deer in the backyard

-cemetery 

-tulips (all these tulips have all of a sudden bloomed)

-an older couple that I always see (probably in 70's) walk around the neighborhood 

From one day to the next, these flowers were all over the place

Maybe tomorrow I'll take the risk and get pictures....

My Eyes are Hearts for Your Apples

I completely forgot to write about the wonderful New York City! I kept on putting it off to give it a proper entry... On March 10, 2012 the Hughes clan and I went to NYC for the weekend.

We actually stayed in New Jersey and metro'd it up. Here we are right outside our hotel.

One of the new WTC buildings (there will be 5). We didn't reserve a pass to see the 9/11 Memorial though (sad face).

We walked around Times Square.

And we ate.....

The first time I came here, I remember thinking, "I could live here". But it was an all encompassing feeling... And the more I saw, the more I liked, even though some parts could definitely not be described as pretty or interesting. I connected. 

I have basically moved across the country to eventually move to this city. I can't pinpoint why this is a dream of mine. Maybe it's the energy. Maybe because there is always something going on. Maybe because the subway system makes me happy. Maybe it's because it is a city of fighters. And fighters dream. And sometimes fighters lose. They are broken and bruised and tired. But sometimes fighters win. They are broken and bruised and tired but they mend and heal and soar. I guess one can argue that you can get this feeling in any place, but I have felt it here. I don't even know what I want to do with myself necessarily. I can't say that I want to be a psychologist or teacher or a hat maker. I want to help people. In a selfish and unselfish way. I want to contribute and I want to do it here... Ah, we shall see what becomes of all this... It may be the biggest mistake I have made. It may be the best thing I do. But I know, that I lead with my heart and I don't believe in going down without a fight.