Percy Fawcett

I am sitting at a Starbucks and have set down 'The Lost City of Z' to write. To check in. To come back really. I could talk about what has happened since I stopped blogging and I shall but to trap months within an entry seems a bit too heavy at the moment.

I am currently 27 pages into this book and I am enamored by this Percy Fawcett, explorer of the Amazon. A passionate and wholesome daredevil. Really I am drawn to his drive. This need to be and to uncover. To set out and to discover.

I feel awake. And interested. And it doesn't just pertain to this story. Hello, I am awake.

Motivation. Motivation!

As of late, I have felt so unmotivated for some reason... and I'm not sad or depressed or anything like that, at least not conscously. I am just unmotivated. I have watched countless hours of television and I have not read anything and I have not written anything or learned anything or gone on my jogs. Oh and by television, I mean completely mind numbing shows.  I wish I could say that I have been watching the news or at least the Discovery channel but nope. HBO girl right here.

Ugh, maybe this is depression? A monotone feeling. Ughhhhhh.

I feel like I am not "growing" which for me, honestly, means that I am not learning anything... I also feel disconnected from myself. Maybe it is lack of direction. Lack of plans.

The only thing (other than the wasted time in front of the tube) that I have done is gone out to eat or drink... Which is fun but I need something more than just this.

Then, I remembered...

A couple of days ago Matt and I sat at the bar and we made a list of places we want to go to in The Burg... Bare with me:

-Museum of Art ((saving this for last (you know the saying))
-Capitol tour (really looking forward to this one)
-Midtown Theater (this is a regular movie theater but it is kinda an old school one)
-Fort Hunter Mansion tour
-Rent a pontoon
-Chocolate World tour
-Bricco ((nice restaurant (yay))
-The Taj place (Matt doesn't remember the name)
-Rose's ((restaurant (super yay))
-Downtown library (HOW HAVE I NOT ATTENDED!?!?!?!)
-Railroad Museum
-Hershey's
-Indian Echoes

And now my own personal list:

-Wake up an hour and 45min before work to read (or try to read for an hour a day)
-Begin jogging again
-Follow through on the music lessons
-Word of the day

I think that if I begin by doing some of the things on these lists, I 'll start feeling like me again. Maybe these are diversions from the bigger goals in life that I ought to be setting but for now easy and steady. Maybe next week I'll start with 5 year goals... then 10 years...

Hm.

Happy.

I am one lucky gal... Sooo happy when Athena brought this in... I almost snatched it:

My Ma called wrote "Gloria" and no one, not even her, refers to me as a "Gloria"... 

Look at all the stickers!!! They make me happy! 

A happy clam I am.

Silly.

I told my tripodian friend Angelica that I was very happy because I went to Costco (the best store in the world) and two of my purchases were a pumpkin pie and the September issue of a certain magazine... and then I looked at my little couch station and I realized that it was kind of girly... and I realized that there are some things that may be considered to be very silly girly things that I like but that I do not hardly share because I do not want my intelligence to be compromised and thinking THAT is super silly so....

Girly Things that I Like (that I USED to think were silly):

-lipstick (I hardly ever wear it in public but I like)

-the September issue of Vogue (I used to read Kyle's but sending for his would leave me bankrupt)

-freshly painted fingernails and toes 

-holding hands (but don't do the one arm hug thing while I walk because you know, I'm trying to walk)

-sticking heart stickers all over everything

-getting dressed up... for anything 

-pretty heels (I really want a pair of Christian Louboutin and btw his website is amazing and btw his shoes would leave me and my grandchildren bankrupt)

-Sex and the City

-cursive

-nice purses

And that is all that I can think of that I used to hide from the public/friends/boys....

By the way my camp out on the couch:

Instruments.

Andrew is one of my friends from work and he is a cartoonist, a writer, a musician, a cool guy, among many things. Actually he was my friend from work because now he is my friend from Philly. The other day I went to see him play at one of his last shows:

 So neat! He taught himself how to play the accordion! (Oops, did not notice that big head to the right).

It is quite inspiring to see a friend pick up an instrument and have passion and fun and create this for others too. I am so excited whenever I get to experience art from people that I know because I just think that it is a really neat process and I feel lucky to know such cool humans.

I wish I could do the same thing. Maybe not create but play for now... So I think I am going to call a couple of places up tomorrow (on my day off) and see what I can learn to do. 

And in the mean time I will continue to try to support the arts by visiting friends and neat people and cheer and take pictures and drink to their art.

Piggy Back, Piggy Bank

One of the things that I have not talked about is my new job... where I am doing absolutely nada with my degree of course...but actually I really like 80% of this job. And the people? I like 100% of them.

I work at a bank. I know, there are horror stories about working at such a place but I really like it. I'm not a teller, I'm on the customer service side. So I open accounts, make people debit/visa cards (yes... it is true. We make them on the spot), and try to "assist" people with taking loans out. It's this last part that really throws me through a loop but anyway here are some of the things I have learned:

-If you set up automatic payments (gas, electricity, loans, yada yop) try to pay with the Visa card that is attached to your account not with your bank account and routing number. The payment, if paid using your routing number and bank account number, will come out of your account even if you do not have the funds and you will overdraft and pay fees and your bank may still cause this payment to bounce. If you use your card then usually the payment won't go through and if it does, you won't be charged the overdraft fee that banks charge.

-Look at your bank statement. Silly to say this but A LOT of people do not do this (I, prior to working here, never did). Sometimes banks charge for things on accident. Sometimes fraudulent transactions occur and they start at $1 or something less obvious like $1.67 and they slowly build up and by the time you notice, you have a lot of paperwork to fill out. And you're short a couple of dollars. Maybe not much but frankly I work for my money and if $100 of it goes missing/is stolen that pisses me off. I could have spent that on a much needed pair of good running shoes or I don't know, 2 copies of "The Economist".

-Make them get to know you. If you have a question call your branch. Get your own banker. Be friendly and nice to someone at the branch. Bother them, in a nice way. Bring them cookies. They will remember you. This may help you. If this is a bank that isn't giving you the customer service you want then fuck it, on to the next bank. Or keep that bank if they are a nationwide bank but take most of your funds to a smaller bank. I do this. I have accounts at a major bank and the place where I work at. The major bank has a kabillion fees. The bank where I work is small. They have less fees and it is easier to get to know the employees.

And that's it for now. I could go on but I'll do it in spurts. I feel like I may be coming off as preachy and my suggestions are pretty vague? I feel like this is so.

I have finally begun to meet people during normal hours and it is actually really nice. I have made a couple of friends. Particularly Matt. Matt and I sit across from one another and we chat and after work we club and eat and talk and hang out and we dilly dally. Now let me just be the first to say that this is a great guy and I like him a whole lot but we are not romantically involved. No, but really great person and I love hanging out with him.

Pretty good day today and here are a couple of pictures:

Dillon is on the left and Matt is on the right. We went to eat at a Sonic-type place but I forgot the name... will find out tomorrow. They were closing when we got there but it was located in Porn City. 

Porn City: I guess this is a major truck stop place and it is full of little XXX shops, and gentlemen clubs, and there are billboards advertising this everywhere, and it's awful. Athena and Jeffrey actually warned me about this place because you basically are driving along and the river looks really pretty and everything is green and all of a sudden there is an ass in your face. Well it feels like it because it is being advertised everywhere. 

Zania and I are excited to get some grub.  We actually ended up at Mickey D's.

Then we went on a stroll downtown and by the river.

Poor Matt was really tired from work today. 

Oh I forgot to tell you. The bank I work at is open 7 days a week. So I worked today and so did Matt and we got slammed and we were tired and then I make the poor guy give me a piggy back ride. The beginning of a true friendship. 

Piggy back. Piggy bank. 

Good night and see you later.

So How WAS it?

Neglecting this has been quite silly of me. Ok so how was Cali? Hm, amazing and awesome and wonderful and great and lets start with Mtm's graduation. So I flew into SF, proudly attended the graduation of one of the great loves in my life, and well danced.

So here is a snapshot of the kickoff to a very good week:

I finally met Mtm's buddies. I have heard about them for years and it was great to finally meet them and of course they were all open and nice and funny and drunks like us.

 <3 Josh and Sandy <3           ! Clifford and Anna !

On the night I arrived we went out and danced the night away. Honestly I kept on leaving and returning to the group... and the next day we met up with Tony Law and the Mtm clan and some much needed pho!

On pho: I love it. There is something about it that makes me feel happily happy and happily filled. Maybe because it reminds me of menudo or posole? I don't know. But yes, it is crucial that everyone know that pho is high on my favorite food list.

                   

 Mtm trying to shy away from the cameras. But being creepy overrides.

My Thanh, Clifford, and Josh and Being Happy.

Happiness in a snapshot.

We cheer and toast and pose and celebrate!

I met new friends that I will hopefully will run into them again... and this time remember ALL of them...

The fella on the left and I texted the next morning when we discovered that I had taken his picture and proceeded to send it to him. We do not know why this was done. But we wished one another the best and went on our merry/dehydrated ways. Also, I finally met the infamous McEnroe. 

Such a great time in SF. 

But really it was a great time with great people at a significant event.

For a significant and great person.