This has been a crazy year. The initial blog only lasted, not even one blog (and I never even finished a single entry!). Jeez, but this time, I plan to stick to it (posting the little snippet in June though...that should count for something). Perhaps complete sentences would be a good start. Or not. Anyway, since that unfinished blog, I would like to report that I only lasted one month in Yellowstone before I came back to Santa Barbara, moved in with my boyfriend (x now), found a temp job, moved out, broke up, am living in a study (pull-out couch; I am writing on it right now!), and am still a temp after 5 months (ok, ok they said they would hire me in January, but nevertheless, still a temp).
It could be worse, I know that. BUT for a bit there, I really did feel like I was falling backwards and I just wasn't sure when that feeling of jerking awake in life was going to stop. No more. I think it is time to begin to start walking down the paths I've always stood at the entrance of. Plus, it's sick to feel sorry for myself when I put my issues in perspective with other people's problems.
So the purpose of this blog is no longer to report my adventures in Yellowstone but:
1. Record my journey to New York City
2. Find a job in NYC where I can apply my Psych degree.
And today, I woke up and realized that I have had a pretty rough time lately BUT today is new and beautiful (and windy as hell too but I like it) and balls out, I will begin to work towards my two new goals. I am very lucky to be where I am at in life and to have what I do have. It is time to do and give and share.
Why New York?: When I was 15, my dad paid for me to spend a month on the E. Coast with Athena, my childhood friend and confidant. We visited NYC for just one day, and I was done for. I came back as an adult when I was 24, and I knew that I had to move here one day.
I was recently talking to Athena and she lives in Harrisburg, PA and she suggested that if I am going to try to make it to NYC I can maybe try to set up interviews, find a place to live, etc from somewhere closer than Santa Barbara....Harrisburg, PA she suggested. I can live with her and I would be taking care of her two beautiful children on the days she has to go to school and clinicals (she is going to be an awesome nurse). On the weekends and days when I don't take care of the kiddies, I can find a job and start saving money so that I can eventually move to NYC. Done. I am leaving in January.
And today, I have had this feeling, that I cannot wait! I cannot wait to begin a new year with the people I love and hell, the people that I will love. I have begun to feel like there is this whole beginning that I am brewing (with the help of great people of course) and there is going to be an exciting today and an exciting tomorrow. I am so relieved tonight, because I was scared for a bit there, that I would settle.
Thank you December for allowing me to wake up today and realize how damn blessed I am for what I do have, what I can do, and what I can give. AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Balls out, here I go!
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